First day of school

For most kids moving in a new city might be a difficult thing to do. They have to make new friends and take it all from zero and the hardest part here is that every kid already has his crew so you either get to integrate into theirs or you have to tear a few up from their group and make yourself one.

               Luckily for me, I always liked the idea of starting something over again. No one knew me there so I could develop a new character, I could easily become a new person. Another thing that really helped me in this process is that I have an awesome ability of looking mysterious, thoughtful and confident although I got no idea what’s going on around me.

               First time I went to my new school seemed like it took an hour to get there because all the feelings I had inside me, although it was just a 10 min walk (now I understand why our parents complain about going to school ‘through snow, climbing mountains, fighting with bears and wolfs on their way’. They just didn’t like school!).

               I was on the lobby approaching the door of my new class. I could hear my new colleagues screaming, laughing, destroying the class, so my palms were getting sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy. There was vomit on my sweater already, mom’s spaghetti. I was nervous but on the surface I looked calm and ready.

               Going through that door was the hardest things I did in my life. When I opened it, everyone just stopped and looked at me. It was a painful silence. I could literally feel all the kids looking right at me so I froze for a second. In that second my subconscious realized that I could not move so it raised the level of adrenalin in my body which made my legs move and I improvised a poker face. I went straight in the last seat, I put my jacket on the chair and I sat down.

               It didn’t take long until our teacher came in, which I thought it was going to be a good thing because the class will start and everyone will forget that I am there. It wasn’t like that. First thing our teacher said when she entered the class was ‘oh, I see you have a new colleague. Let’s all present ourselves’. Everyone, one by one, stood up and said his/her name and one thing about him/her. Well, when my turn came I tried to do the same thing, but my teacher kept asking my more and more questions about myself. It was very unpleasant because after every answer I gave I sat down, thinking that was over, and when she asked me another thing, I had to stand up again. It was like I was doing squads.

               Between classes everyone was having fun except for me. I was just sitting and waiting for the next class to start. Wearing a poker face made my new colleagues be interested in my personality so a few of them came to me and tried to hold a conversation but my adrenalin made me look like an arrogant douchebag who didn’t want to talk with them. Unexpectedly, this really helped me. They were just more and more interested in me.

               It looks like we, humans, are not searching for answers. We are just searching for questions that do not have an answer or at least we can’t find it right away, because this gives us a purpose in life. Having all the answers would mean the end of the world so we want to find more and more unanswered questions just to prove us that we still have a reason to live.

               I was not the type that would split someone from their crew and in the same time I didn’t like a group that much that it would make me want to be a part of it. In this case, my only solution was to be friend with everyone and to be part of every gang, which in a few days I did.

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